Warning...this post has gory details...rated - PG-13. Continue reading at your own risk, may even act as birth control for some. Enjoy!
Per the request of several friends, I've decided to write about my version of the birth story of my daughter! I can't say that everything is accurate...but it's my perspective. If you want a better account you should talk to my labor coaches - my husband, sister, and very close friend! They were amazing and honestly without them, I would have been begging for an epidural at the start!
To begin, I have never wanted to have a medicated delivery. This was entirely my wish, and not due to any judgment on women who chose to go that route. But for me, this is what I wanted. Tobin and I also became very interested in a water birth, and planned to do this as well.
I began having fairly regular contractions December 23rd, Sunday. We went to church, with the car ready and packed, made it through the entire service. I was touched thinking of Mary in the stable laboring for our Savior to be delivered! It was becoming even more real to me! The contractions continued throughout the day, but were very light and didn't last long. That evening our good friends came over and we watched the first video of the Lord of the Rings. My belly would contract, and I'd hold tight to Tobin, breath, and hold fast as Gandolf and Frodo fought off all the evils and perils they faced. It was a great distraction! My contractions continued, hard enough that I knew, sleeping was not going to be an option. And hopefully the contractions would become closer and more regular so we could head to the hospital, and get this baby delivered!! My friend, Bethany, stayed with me, and Tobin caught a few winks of shut eye as we knew it was going to be a long night.
About 12-1am, is when my contractions became regular, longer, and much closer (about 2-4 minutes apart, lasting 1-2 minutes). So off in the car to the hospital we drove, as my sister left from Salem to join us at the hospital. My words in the car on the way to the hospital was..."Tobin, they could send us home...I need to be prepared for that."
Arrived at the hospital. It was kind of funny because Tobin is so medical and non-chelant about it all, he dropped me off at the ER entrance, and parked the car. I walk up to the counter and almost can't say my name because I am in the middle of a contraction. Thankfully, the gentleman could CLEARLY see why I was there, and quickly got the paperwork done so he could get me out of his ER and up to the OB floor.
Once in the room, the nurse did an exam and we found out I was only 3cm dilated, nearly fully effaced, and a -1 station (this is for all my medical friends). Basically, this is still very early labor and it could still be some time before much more change happens. Since I wanted to be very low intervention the nurse said I could go home for a couple hours and come back, or I could stay for 1 hr and we could check my cervix again, but if no change she would be sending me home...the words I had tried to prepare myself to hear, but when you are in pain and contractions are happening regularly, "going home" and "waiting" aren't words you want to hear when you are already 8 days overdue.
So the hour we waited. The contractions were pretty strong, I couldn't talk through them. And I HATED laying down in the bed. I preferred to sit on this medicine ball, lean on Tobin, or be on my hands and knees. After an hour, the nurse came back, and did a VERY LONG pelvic exam, that was not comfortable and during which I had a couple contractions. She said she could tell the cervix had dropped a little more and was "softer" but she really couldn't tell how dilated it was. She contacted the midwife and because I was changing somewhat they decided to admit me and not make me go home.
After this, I tried the jacuzzi tub (which is about the right size for me, but is about the smallest "jacuzzi" tub I've ever seen). The water helped my contractions, but in the water I started getting full body shakes. These are hard to describe but honestly it felt like insects crawling all over my body causing this tingling sensation that at times I even felt across my face, lips and tongue. It was QUITE interesting...really not that fun. I started saying things like, "I feel I'm having an out of body experience." "Are you guys really there?" During each contraction, I needed someone there - to rub my back, hold my hand, or lean on. My sister would tenderly pull my hair back and encourage me. I also was nauseated during most of this time, and requesting the "bag," thankfully I only vomited 3 times...which that wasn't fun. I was saying, "Contraction please don't come yet!" as I was spilling my cookies.
Time became a blur, all I know is at some point they checked again and I was at 6cm! Then they set up the "pool" for a water birth. In the tub I went. I really did feel good and did help me relax for a bit. But I started getting those darn shakes again, and I did not like that feeling. All my flexor muscles in my arms and legs seem to start contracting and almost like they were seizing. I remember looking at Tobin, and he just would help me take deep breaths, like we had been preparing in our "labor training." My sister and friend say when I was in the water, I had this "animal-like" look on me, that looked so desperate and helpless. I remember my vision being somewhat strange, not blurry - but "distant." If you've ever stayed up 24 hours, staring at a computer screen, feeling "bleary-eyed," I think it's somewhat like that.
After trying to relax, and get through those shakes, and it wasn't getting better, I had to get out of the water. So out I came. By this time it was at least after sunrise - so probably about 5-6 hrs of labor. I continued laboring through contractions - mainly in a hands and knees position on the bed. The memories are starting to get more blurry. At some point I tried to go back into the tub...same thing of the shakes happened so out I came. The water did help me pass the time and relax during contractions, but then between my body didn't relax because of the shaking. I got out of the tub and then labored on the bed, in a hands and knees position. During each contraction, somewhat was rubbing my low back and another was coaching me through the contraction. At some point, I looked over and realized my midwife had been just standing in the room for quite some time. I looked at her and said, "What are we waiting for now?" She told me later, that was just about the funniest thing she's heard. Her response was, "I'm just waiting for you to tell me when it's time to push." She decided to check me soon after this and I was nearly fully dilated, but there was a little bit of fluid by her head. Most of my water had already broken (kind of came out in portions during different contractions), but there was this little bit. My midwife told me, she could break that and this would allow the head to drop and we'd be ready to push this baby out. That sounded great to me. So we did this, and soon after my contractions were stronger and Miss Esther was moving down!
I pushed for about 30-40 minutes (so I'm told). It seemed PLENTY long to me. Pushing a bowling ball size mass out of your vagina...isn't comfortable...whatever people might tell you. During the contractions and pushing, I was quite vocal - moaning, breathing, nearly yelling. But I didn't yell at anyone - as I recall, and this has been confirmed. =) I began thinking in my head, "This isn't what I wanted, I wanted things to be all calm, quiet and just breath the baby down." And I even verbalized it between a contraction, "This isn't how I wanted it. I wanted to be quiet." I have later been informed by my close friend, that I was a little crazy in thinking I COULD be quiet, with how vocal I usually am. Most of my friends and readers would probably agree. Well, I pushed, felt like I was nearly going to pass out during the contractions, had them put an oxygen mask on me between contractions, and pushed and PUSHED. Another quotable was, "She is small so her head is going to come right out and everything else with it." All the midwives had been telling me this was going to be about a 6lb baby, and I've heard they usually are pretty accurate - more so than an ultrasound. I tried to relax as her head was engaged, but again YOU TRY TO RELAX with a BOWLING ball between your hips and legs!
FINALLY, she came out and before I knew it, I was in blissful relief. My baby was on my chest, she was crying, and we had made it! I tear up even thinking about that moment now. I am reminded of the line I love and has so much meaning to me from "In Christ Alone:"
"From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny."
My niece Maggie's, first cry wasn't till a few days after she was born, but God granted that. And now there was so much relief to hear my baby cry. Thank you Jesus.
In total I labored for about 10 hours in the hospital...but who is counting. I sure lost track of time and space. It was the hardest and most amazing experience I have ever had. It's on the list of best days in my life - when Tobin proposed, we were married, and now when we started a family together.
Her name:
Esther: Meaning "morning star" and after a beautiful Biblical woman who became queen and saved the Jewish people.
Emily: Meaning "rival, emulating" She is named after a very close friend of mine that passed away in a rock climbing accident 6 years ago. She had an amazing, bright, cheerful spirit, never-ending energy, and a love for the Lord.
We love you so much Esther Emily Rummel. We thank the Lord for blessing us with your little life that we pray will grow in love with our Savior too.
